The experience of watching a well made film is almost like having a juvenile crush. A good movie lifts you off your feet, inspires you and evokes emotions even from the dingiest corner of your soul. However I faced a dichotomy this time as I had to choose between two movies I desperately wanted to see. Black Swan and The king's Speech. But as luck would I have it, I ended up watching Black swan twice in the theater.What I went through during those few hours aroused certain questions in my mind, questions which I have been afraid of asking myself because I was not quite sure what their answers might be.
Nina Sayers is a ballet dancer and an obedient daughter. She comes across a sincere and honest person, yet her life is mundane and dry restricting her to the boundaries of workplace and home.Although she gets the role of the Swan Queen,things hardly turn out, the way she wants them to.The efficacy with which she dances as the White Swan is beyond compare, but she falters every time the Black Swan comes into being.Also,the way sexuality is treated in this movie is sublunary and on your face. Vincent Cassel, as the lascivious dance coach advices Nina to "touch herself" before she tries to engage her engage her audience.And as she begins her search for herself, she gets further lost in the complexities of life.The otherwise fragile and petite Nina, gets jealous,feels desired and slams the door on her mother's face, something she could not even dream of doing, a few weeks back.Unable to take any more strain, she starts inflicting pain on herself in a desire to be the most perfect dancer, the world has ever seen.
The very fact that Darren Aronofsky could even thinking of taking something as pristine and beautiful as ballet and transforming it into a psychological thriller, makes him one of the most talented people around.There are not many dialogues in the movie, but Portman's movements make the journey worthwhile.
Nina's director always told her to be a little less perfect as sometimes it was more important to let go. She wanted to prove that she could play her part perfectly without compromising on anything. In the end, Nina did dance the Swan lake with efficacy and grace but she had to let go of the person she had always been. She had finally achieved what she had ever wanted to, but the price to pay was too much.
After watching the movie, I wondered-"Did I also have a Nina Sayers in me?".My condition is not half as dramatic as hers, but even then did I have any deep dark desires which are waiting to break through? Honestly, I don't know and I am not too curious either.It is just that when you are used to being a certain person, you tend to ignore a facet of your personality which is best when left unexplored. At times I feel I just think too much. I mean I can't begin to tell you how guilty I felt when I had about 2 ml of Vodka at a friend's birthday. It does not matter I know, but I still feel accountable as my Mom does not know about it yet. Do I have to tell her everything?Yes,I do.
Anyways, The movie is brilliant. Do watch it IN THE THEATERS, if you haven't watched it yet.Quoting a reviewer-"I am glad Aronofsky is able to do what he does. His brutal and uncompromising style is definitely not for everyone, and it's not box office gold, but for those viewers who connect with what he's doing, the experience is truly something special. "
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