Thursday, September 30, 2010

?!Finally 18?!

As time passes by one learns to adapt, grow and move in and out of situations which control's one life. Before I stepped out of my home, people were doubtful...Of my merits, my ambitions and were in constant check to see whether I give my on my idea of living my life the way I want to. So about a few hours before my 18th birthday I would obviously not talk about such insignificant hurdles but would love to thank those people who made this LIFE possible for me, people who never gave up on me, people who believed that I was capable of making miracles (in my own little way) and people who love me inspite of my imperfections and shortcomings.

Firstly,Ma and Baba ,I owe you my life and I can never thank you enough for making me a part of this beautiful world.Ma,you have been my biggest inspiration,you have managed your profession and home effortlessly and always taught me to uphold my values no matter what. I miss watching television with you, fighting for the remote, telling you about things which bother me and also ones which brought a smile on my face. I miss my shopping sprees with you and gorging on the food you made. Most of all I miss hugging you while I am asleep; I miss that smile on your face when you would wake me up every morning. I love you MOM and would like to apologize for the times I have hurt you. My DAD is the most awesome guy ever. I mean he tops exams even at the age of 50.He tells me I have inherited my love for reading and music from him (and blames MOM for my laziness and anger..:P).I could talk to my dad about anything and he knows the answer..Phew!!Baba is perhaps the most knowledgeable person I have ever come across(Our director doesn't quite stand a chance in front of him..;)Next comes DADA...My best friend and Agony Aunt..(Oops make that Uncle). My brother and I are exact opposites. He is calm and composed one while a lone lizard can make me go nuts. He is funny and handsome while I am...*blah*.My brother can just see me or hear my voice to realize that I am in quite a "State". He has been my consistent driving force and has always given me the space to do my thing. We can fight like cats and dogs but the mutual love and respect can never decline.

The last few people came into my life at a later stage but nevertheless they managed to create quite an impact. Bozo (The LOVE OF MY LIFE) is my little puppy who has stood by me no matter what. She shouts on MA and BABA whenever they scold me and has always been there when I fell ill or upset especially when there has been NO one at home. Bozo is an integral part of my life,the person(Yes you read it right),the person who taught me that you need not speak in order to spread Love, because most of the times when your action does the trick. Last but not the least my school and my teachers because of whom I am here today. Especially Miss Madhumita and Mrs Mahapatra who kept faith in me when I could not do the same for myself. Thank you Miss Mahapatra for teaching me not just Maths but about how to keep hope even in difficult times and for treating me with the most amazing food ever. Miss Madhumita, you are my Guardian angel, thank you for encouraging me to keep writing and reading even when times weren't that great. Thank you for being by my side when I needed someone to talk to....I still remember your last words-"You deserved it”. I owe every bit of my achievements to you.

For the others...this blog might sound repetitive but before taking a step into adulthood this was my only chance to relive my childhood once again..On this occasion I remember this thing my Uncle had told me on my 15th birthday...”Deher boish barche baruk, mober boish ke barte deo na". (Let your body grow and mature but don't let your Mind follow the same)..


Thursday, September 23, 2010


A woman is someone who loves you eternally and expects nothing in return. A woman is in that little girl who has been married off by her parents since she was incapable of providing any monetary benefits. A woman is the one who hides her face in shame after being raped by the local goon as if it was all her fault. A woman is the same lady whom you meet as your mother, teacher, guide, mentor never realizing that those bruises under her eyes were not because of inadequate sleep but due to her moody husband who thinks his wife to be nothing but the vending machine of every frustration in his life.

A woman is supposed to do the household job, manage the kids, attend to your guests and maintain stability in her professional front as well. She does everything to the best of her abilities but you still feel she is at fault, so much so that you could slice her down with your words or actions. The next morning you wake up to find your breakfast on time as if nothing has gone wrong, which serves as a misconception to a lot of men who think of their wives as nothing but a puppet in their hands whom they can manipulate and control the way to want to. However Domestic violence does not only happen to adults. Forty percent of girls age 14 to 17 reports knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Although males are also subjected to domestic violence but such cases are extremely rare. Some believe that domestic violence is a result of the drifting mindsets of the people of the 21st century which is certainly not the case. For years women have been dominated by their male counterparts as if they did not possess an individuality of their own. This phenomenon continued ages after ages only because women themselves were unsure of their potentials and capabilities. It’s only in the 20th century when the women of our country rose to being not just educated but also working members of their families. Such an exposure made them realize that a relationship grows on the base of mutual understanding and love and certainly not on compromise and disrespect. So what is the reason for such an inhuman behaviour and what kind of pleasure can one possibly get but hurting the person he is intended to live the rest of his life with? The U. S. Office on Violence against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a "pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner". The definition adds that domestic violence "can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender", and that it can take many forms, including physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse. In some cases even the child witnessing domestic violence grows up with several mental setbacks which even psychologists are unable to comprehend and cater to. Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars as it is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return.

So what is the solution or is there any solution at all? People are slowly coming out of their closet and trying to decipher the ways and means to get rid of this social trauma. Along with government policies several campaigns like the Bell Bajao Campaign are initiatives made by the people for the people to stand up for each other’s rights. However every change has to begin at the elementary level that is at an individual level. Only if we believe in ourselves we can help affect the society for the better. Rapid developments keep occurring in urban sectors but what about rural places where domestic violence is almost the way of life. How can a psychologist help a woman who has resigned to the fate of being tortured by husband day in and day out? The answer does not lie in expensive treatments but in being able to connect to human beings around us. Sometimes a simple touch, an act of kindness opens up a person to talk about things they could have never thought of before. Domestic Violence needs to be dealt with compassion and kindness rather than hatred or malice. Last but not the least one should never give up on themselves as, when the world says, "Give up", Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

Saturday, September 4, 2010

He is just not that into you BUT Who cares?

"Cute guy Cute Guy,where art thou?
Cute guy Cute Guy,did you pass by now?"

A couple of days back I left aside all my assignments and started watching this movie called-"He is just not that into you".I could immediately connect to the movie because there has been about a zillion times when "He was just not that into me".I mean what is wrong with all the cute fellas of this earth??It always the same reaction.You spot the guy,you find him walking towards you,you feel your cheeks flush as you grow increasingly conscious of his close proximity and as your eyes are closed expecting to witness a miracle you find him walking away in the most blatant manner possible. "DAMN"-at least that my first reaction when something of that sort happens.You feel like such a loser,even in your own eyes.It was when I was saw Kiki (or whatever her name was)that I realized that may be MAY BE I wasn't the only sadist soul on this planet.On wondering further more I wonder as to why I am craving for such momentary attention?How does it even matter?I am not going to end up having a relationship with him for God's sake!I always seem to forget that it takes so much more than just looks to sustain a relationship.Can I be happy with a Guy who is a some supermodel but doesn't care a shit about me?NO,I can't and answer doesn't change in this lifetime or in some other. Being single gives me the freedom to perceive things in the most optimistic way possible.Every time I see a guy and girl I feel they are "MADE FOR EACH OTHER",but reality is a different story altogether.

Well,I might sound repetitive but my teenage years have taught me to never compromise on my self-respect.Life will never be easy, but if someone hurts you deliberately you have no choice but to move on.Cute guys MEET Cute girls and are happily married ever after only in movies and novels (No wonder they are called FICTION).WE humans have a lot of ISSUES, there is no point in denying them when there is an option of sorting things out.Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.But I believe that True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.