Friday, August 27, 2010
That thing called LOVE
Even a few months back I could not have believed that someone like me can have such a change of mind. I used to enjoy reading love stories and watching movies of the same genre. For those brief time spans I would be transformed to the leading lady who is coincidentally very beautiful (both inside and outside) and some random guy would be my prince charming. And by the way even he is supposed to be dashing with a terrific sense of humour. He says he loves me from the very moment he had first set his eyes on me but also clarifies that I am (undoubtedly) the best thing that has ever happened to him. Which means that he (thinks) he loves me because of the kind of person I am but actually I happen to be the hottest girl he has ever met? How ironic can that possibly be!!
Needless to say that throughout my teenage (which is not over yet) I kept on believing that someday someone will come. I kept on thinking about it till I realized that I had been too naive to try and differentiate between fiction and fact. My ignorance had left quite a bad taste since I have had sky high expectations about people whom I thought I was in love with. I have been verbally molested and my self respect has been put to question numerous times.Every time I found myself contemplating about it I questioned-“Did I really deserve this?” Whenever things did not turn out quite right I would go back to thinking about my dream man and imagine about his reactions IF he would have been by my side. The fact remains that most of such thoughts are an extension of my personality. That is I want my life partner to react in a manner similar to mine which is actually NOT possible.
I find myself growing out of the concept of Love for reasons I am not quite sure of. I have become cynical and impatient and I hate to see myself like this. I am not desperate but I feel that life could have been much simpler if I could share it with someone. Someone with whom I can laugh and cry someone who could put me at ease no matter what. It feels enormously frustrating to keep things bottled up, to fake a smile even if you feel like bursting into tears. By Love I don’t mean by running around trees or talking on the phone for hours, Love is to understand and to be understood. Love cannot be demanded, you either have it or you don’t. Love is pragmatic and inspiring; I can’t merge Love into romanticism because Love is in being responsible and honest. Like Erich Segal had famously said-“Love means never having to say you are sorry.” because when you look into the eyes of the lover and see those tears whom he profusely tries to hide you realize that you could not have had things done otherwise.