Sunday, October 10, 2010
An effort to explore the both sides of a coin.......
I remember rushing out of Rajeev’s Apartment in anger but I still don’t remember why I was in such a mood.I was dead drunk trying to make my way to my PG at the dead of the night. I was so stoned that I could barely walk. Before I could realize I stumbled and tripped across the subway stairs. I don’t really recollect what happened next……
I was blinded by scorching white light when I first opened my eyes and it was then I first saw her. She was too plain to even be a nurse. Her hair was neatly tied and her face was pale. She was nowhere close to kind of girls I dated and there was this look in her eyes, a look of concern and that of anxiety which made me feel alive inspite of all the body pain which held me to the hospital bed. She used to come every day, bring me flowers and cards which she made herself. We talked about a lot of things apart from ourselves which is why I don’t even know her name. I longingly waited for her on the day of my release but she was nowhere to be seen. All I got was a note of her saying-“It was a pleasure knowing you. Keep safe and take good care of yourself.”…………….
All I knew was that I had never seen anything so beautiful. All I knew that he was in pain and needs immediate help. I remember begging for help in order to take him to the hospital. It was not before an hour and half when I finally succeeded in my endeavour. I came everyday to see him. I remember touching his wounds in anguish, I remember flinching in his sleep. His entire face was bruised but he still managed to look divine. Inspite of being in intense agony he was an epitome of hope in my lonely life. For an entire week I spend most of time sitting beside his hospital watching him go to sleep. I felt that if he was by my side nothing could ever go wrong.
It was not before the day of his release that reality struck me. I was not some college cheerleader or the daughter of a millionaire….I was not even the kind of girl, a guy would introduce to his friends. I was just plain and reserved and nothing changes that…Not even the prospect of new found love. I knew that I was not strong enough to stand against a heartbreak….I knew that I could never curb anyone’s existence just because I could not get used to changes.
And so I left. His image comes back to me off and on to make me realize that love is not always about a lifetime of togetherness but about certain moments. Moments which keep you alive, moments which tell you to never give up on love come what may……I still hope that I will get to see him someday but then again the course of love never did run smooth, and never will.