DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

A woman is someone who loves you eternally and expects nothing in return. A woman is in that little girl who has been married off by her parents since she was incapable of providing any monetary benefits. A woman is the one who hides her face in shame after being raped by the local goon as if it was all her fault. A woman is the same lady whom you meet as your mother, teacher, guide, mentor never realizing that those bruises under her eyes were not because of inadequate sleep but due to her moody husband who thinks his wife to be nothing but the vending machine of every frustration in his life.

A woman is supposed to do the household job, manage the kids, attend to your guests and maintain stability in her professional front as well. She does everything to the best of her abilities but you still feel she is at fault, so much so that you could slice her down with your words or actions. The next morning you wake up to find your breakfast on time as if nothing has gone wrong, which serves as a misconception to a lot of men who think of their wives as nothing but a puppet in their hands whom they can manipulate and control the way to want to. However Domestic violence does not only happen to adults. Forty percent of girls age 14 to 17 reports knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Although males are also subjected to domestic violence but such cases are extremely rare. Some believe that domestic violence is a result of the drifting mindsets of the people of the 21st century which is certainly not the case. For years women have been dominated by their male counterparts as if they did not possess an individuality of their own. This phenomenon continued ages after ages only because women themselves were unsure of their potentials and capabilities. It’s only in the 20th century when the women of our country rose to being not just educated but also working members of their families. Such an exposure made them realize that a relationship grows on the base of mutual understanding and love and certainly not on compromise and disrespect. So what is the reason for such an inhuman behaviour and what kind of pleasure can one possibly get but hurting the person he is intended to live the rest of his life with? The U. S. Office on Violence against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a "pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner". The definition adds that domestic violence "can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender", and that it can take many forms, including physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse. In some cases even the child witnessing domestic violence grows up with several mental setbacks which even psychologists are unable to comprehend and cater to. Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars as it is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return.

So what is the solution or is there any solution at all? People are slowly coming out of their closet and trying to decipher the ways and means to get rid of this social trauma. Along with government policies several campaigns like the Bell Bajao Campaign are initiatives made by the people for the people to stand up for each other’s rights. However every change has to begin at the elementary level that is at an individual level. Only if we believe in ourselves we can help affect the society for the better. Rapid developments keep occurring in urban sectors but what about rural places where domestic violence is almost the way of life. How can a psychologist help a woman who has resigned to the fate of being tortured by husband day in and day out? The answer does not lie in expensive treatments but in being able to connect to human beings around us. Sometimes a simple touch, an act of kindness opens up a person to talk about things they could have never thought of before. Domestic Violence needs to be dealt with compassion and kindness rather than hatred or malice. Last but not the least one should never give up on themselves as, when the world says, "Give up", Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."