Friday, May 3, 2013

Thoughts on being a woman ..

A friend of mine had once asked me to write about how it feels to be a woman. Obviously, in the present day and age even a simple question like that could lead to numerous answers having multiple connotations.

If you ask me, the idea of being a woman is quite disconcerting at times. Especially when you think of violence but otherwise also. And having a missionary girl's school upbringing does not help too much, either. Every time before settling for something different, you try and weigh the moral implications and even if your heart and mind are set on it, you are too impeded to do it anyway.

And if you are introvert who'd rather sit for hours in a book store than go out on a blind date with some random guy, you are worsening the situation for yourself.Otherwise how else will you even meet new people and get a shot at a clumsy little fling if not anything else?

Being a woman is difficult especially you are being judged, constantly. Oh your dress is too short or your hair is too messy or why do want to move out and work in a different city. Ample questions. Answers? Just one. Because I want to.

Its confusing growing up in a time where concepts like chivalry and feminism are constantly colliding with each other. Should a guy open the door for you or pull a chair or pay the bills? Of course not. For Christ's sake it is the 21st century?!

But if a guy does not do all of that, he is possibly not a gentleman because how could he take a woman out on a date and enter the restaurant before, conveniently allowing the door to crash on her face. And for someone who is an advocate of equality, it is rather confusing to even think of how I want a man to behave like when he asks me out. I mean if he too kind, he is patronizing, if his not then he is just plain stupid and does not how to treat a woman? Is that it?

It in almost always that a woman dresses up to look good for someone or something specific. Otherwise won't I,like,remain in my boxers forever? Since I am taking the effort of importunately torturing my legs by wearing 6 inch heels and a skimpy little dress which makes me sweat like a pig, I most certainly want to look good for a specific purpose. If nothing, then at least a profile picture is guaranteed.So either way it is a win win situation.

And this is what confuses me. This pretense. This idea of being 'the woman' and not yourself. I often have people telling me that I can look good if I want to? What do you mean by I want to? It is a presumptuous feeling to even consider that every woman will match up to the idea of someone who is extensively groomed and thinks twice before saying anything, lest her dentures fall out. (Okay! Just kidding :P)

It is even worse when you like someone. Do you talk to him about it? Does it make you a loser if the man of your dreams doesn't ask you out simply because the poor guy has no idea that you are massively crushing on him? Or he might not want to go out with you in the first place. Is it difficult to accept that and move on? It certainly is. Because Fitzwilliam Darcy was only the figment of some woman's imagination.

What if a guy says that he likes you but has never got time for you? Better still he likes you because he likes the idea of you and has very little consideration about what you think, feel or say. Even if it unbelievably disturbing and painful the right thing will always be to move on , even when you are sinking in an ocean of self pity and unsurmountable sadness.

Being a woman is difficult because the woman of today is far more perplexed. Her ideas are not always the best but they make her who she is. She might not know how to cook or abide by your sermons of propriety. What makes her special is her imperfections, the mistakes she makes.She knows that. And she wants the world to know it too.

Lastly as one wise woman had once said,
“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”

1 comment:

  1. yeah its always the women who are subject to doing the extra bit even if in terms she is superior to the male....
    Its we, who have got to change it...
    We must start being ourselves and stop doing everything for others sake....

    read me on